Saturday Smiles – When It’s HOT

 

Reading this diary excerpt brought back fond memories.

We lived in the North Queensland mining townof Mount Isa for seven years.

I remember the whirling dervish like willie willies – dust storms

The fine red dust even came in through closed windows

The smell of sulphur from the mining smoke stack before they increased its height

How my thongs stuck to the bitumen in summer

The crystal clear starry night sky

Rain storms that overflowed the rivers so we could catch fish with bottomless buckets at the causeway

And walk in the dry river beds risking flash flooding

Searing heat of mid summer

Freezing nights of mid winter

My brother chasing mum around the kitchen table holding the huge rock python he had just caught

And how we desperately tried to find it when it disappeared from the box in his room. We even sent the smallest kid to roam through the under floor air conditioning tunnels to look for it. The smallest kid then was my current baby brother-in-law.  I wonder if he remembers looking for a snake….  later we found it buried in our backyard when our dog came inside covered in stinky snake poo.

Subject: DIARY OF A POM IN MOUNT ISA

AUGUST 31

Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Mount Isa, Queensland, Australia.

Now this is a town that knows how to live!

Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.

I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday.

It was beautiful.

I finally found my new home.

I love it here.

SEPTEMBER 13

Really heating up now.

It got to 31 today.

No problem though.

Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car.

What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this.

I’m turning into a sun-worshipper – no blasted rain like back in Leeds !!

SEPTEMBER 30

Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today.

Lots of palms and rocks.

No more mowing lawns for me!

Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

It’s Paradise !

OCTOBER 10

The temperature hasn’t been below 35 all week.

How do people get used to this kind of heat?

At least today it’s windy though.

Keeps the flies off a bit.

Acclimatising is taking longer than we expected.

OCTOBER 15

Fell asleep by the pool yesterday.

Got third degree burns over 60% of my body.

Missed three days off work.

What a dumb thing to do..

Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this!

OCTOBER 20

Didn’t notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning.

By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery.

The car now smells like Whiskas and cat shit.

I have learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.

OCTOBER 25

This wind is a bastard.

It feels like a giant fucking blow dryer.

And it’s hot as hell!

The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from fucking Melbourne …..The wife & the kids are  complaining.

OCTOBER 30

– The temperature’s up around 40 and the parts still haven’t arrived for the fucking air conditioner.

House is an oven so we’ve all been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.

Bloody $600,000 house and we can’t even go inside.

Why the hell did I ever come here?

NOVEMBER 4

Finally got the fucking air-conditioner fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature  down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 35.

Stupid repairman.

Fucking thief.

NOVEMBER 8

If one more smart bastard says ‘Hot enough for you today?’

I’m going to fucking throttle him.

Fucking heat!

By the time I get to work, the car radiator is boiling over, my fucking clothes are soaking fucking wet and I smell like baked cat.

Fucking place is the end of the Earth.

NOVEMBER 9

Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in my car.

I thought my fucking arse was on fire.

I lost 2 layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off my fucking arse.

Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

NOVEMBER 10

The Weather report might as well be a fucking recording..

Hot and sunny.

Hot and sunny, Hot and fucking sunny.

It never fucking changes!

It’s been too hot to do anything for 2 fucking months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.

Fuck!

NOVEMBER 15

Doesn’t it ever rain in this damn fucking place?

Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the fucking pool.

The only things that thrive in this fucking hell-hole are the fucking flies.

You don’t dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the little bastards!

NOVEMBER 20

Welcome to HELL!

It got to 45 fuckin’ degrees today.

Now the air conditioner gone in my car.

The repair man came to fix it and said, ‘Hot enough for you today?’

I wanted to shove the fucking car up his fucking arse.

Now, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid prick.

Fucking Mount Isa!!

What kind of sick, demented fucking idiot would want to live here!

DEVEMBER 1

– WHAT!!!! The FIRST day  of Summer!!!!

You are fucking kidding me

Raili Tanska

Be happy


12 thoughts on “Saturday Smiles – When It’s HOT

  1. Made me laugh Raili as I remembered when I first came to Australia from -11C to 40C heat. Took some time to get used to.

  2. I giggled, then laughed, and now I’m laugh snorting….. oh, what a great Aussie yarn, haha, but probably 80% fair dinkum’…. 🤣😅😎

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