The Retired Husband (TRH), bless his little cotton socks, has a habit of falling asleep on our comfy reclining sofa. The ever present mobile phone slips and slides in his hands as he fights sinking into the Land of Nod. As do assorted other things. Slip out of his hands that is.
The other night, the phone did more than slip and slide. It got eaten. By the sofa. True that. I was peacefully sitting at table having a leisurely breakfast whilst battling with the crossword puzzle. Himself had already adjourned to his office. I heard his mobile ring. It sounded like it was on the sofa.
Ever alert to phone calls, in case they are from The One Who Needs A Seniors Phone, he came rushing out. I watched in fascination as he searched for it. And searched. And searched some more. Magazines got lifted up. Hats and caps (yes, there are many) were piled on top of each other as he looked underneath them. Cushions got lifted. Hands got pushed into the many nooks and crannies that go to make up a sofa.
In frustration, he hit the recline button. Awkwardly (because he is an old geezer) he got down on bended knee on the floor. To look under the sofa. Not seeing anything, he lay down. And went under the sofa. Well, as far as he could. Still nothing.
He looked at me. I was busy roaring with laughter by this time. Tears were streaming down my face.
It IS in there, isn’t? he asked
Yes, I said between hiccups. I can hear it.
Given that he was having a man look, I had to get up. But alas, I had no luck either. He phoned himself with the landline phone. You see, I still have no mobile phone. We both heard it ring. Several times he tried this. The sofa, I decided, must have swallowed it up and was busy digesting it. A tasty morsel obviously, as it was not being surrendered or regurgitated.
We have to move the sofa, I said.
What a treasure trove lay underneath. Tess found several tasty snacks. Himself found a missing folding knife. Some cutlery. A cushion. No phone.
I guess we should vacuum that, he said.
I guess, I said.
Then he had another look. And emerged triumphant with mobile phone in hand.
You found it, I asked stating the obvious.
Yes. All that pushing and shoving must have dislodged it.
Who knew sofas were phone munching monsters!
Life is full of surprises