A cranky older woman “in her senior years” was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away. She complained and criticized everything and everyone throughout the process.
When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked her what she had stolen from the store.
The lady defiantly replied, “Just a stupid can of peaches, you old fool.”
The judge then asked why she had done it.
“I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store,” she huffed.
The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.
The judge answered patiently, “Well, ma’am, because I’m going to give you nine days in jail — one day for each peach.”
As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady’s long-suffering husband raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak.
The judge said, “Yes sir, what do you have to add?”