soulgifts – Telling Tales

forthcoming wedding.

‘Aye, it’s all going like magic,’ says Jock.

‘I’ve got everything organised already: the flowers, the church,

the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night…’

Archie nods approvingly.

‘Hell, I’ve even bought a kilt to be married in!’ continues Jock.

‘A kilt?’ exclaims Archie, ‘That’s grand, you’ll look pure smart in that!

And what’s the tartin?’

‘Ach,’ says Jock, ‘I imagine she’ll be in white.

Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.

Paddy says to Murphy “I’m gonna have the day off.

I’m gonna pretend I’m mad!”

He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts

“I’M A LIGHT BULB! .. I’M A LIGHT BULB!”

Murphy watches in amazement!

The Foreman shouts “Paddy you’re mad, go home”

So he leaves the site.  Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.

“Where the hell are you going?” asks the Foreman.

“I can’t work in the friggin’ dark!” says Murphy.

Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.

Mick says “Crikey! There’s a bloke here who was 152!”

Paddy says “What’s his name?”

Mick replies “Miles, from London!”

Paddy, had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It appeared that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able

to walk on water on their 18th birthday.

On that special day, they’d each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side

for their first legal drink.

So when Paddy’s, 18th birthday came ’round, he and his pal Mick, took a boat out

to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat . . . And nearly drowned! 

Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety.

Furious and confused, Paddy, went to see his grandmother.

‘Grandma,’ he asked, “It’s my 18th birthday, so why can’t I walk ‘cross the lake

like my father, his father, and his father before him?”

Granny looked deeply into Paddy’s, troubled brown eyes and said,

“Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were all

born in December, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in August, ya dip shit.

Raili Tanska

Start the weekend with a smile