Yep – there is a point to this weird heading.
Change is an act or process through which something becomes different.
Acceptance is the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered, or the process or fact of being received as adequate, valid, or suitable.
Passivity is allowing others to do things to you without complaining or pushing back.
Resignation is the acceptance of something undesirable but inevitable.
Whether we like it or not, Life is all about change. The longer we live, the more changes we go through – it’s as inevitable as death and taxes.
Some change is good. Some change we actively seek. Some change is neutral. Some change is just yuk. What I have learnt over the years is that if the change is unavoidable it is in my best interest to simply accept it and get on with life and whatever has to be done. That, to me, is acceptance.
Passivity implies non-participation or non-action in the event/change. A being ‘done to’ rather than a ‘doing with’.
And resignation – well, I think it implies a negative state of mind. At heart I am an optimist so this does not sit well with me at all. There is also a danger that it could lead to resentment and anger. And that’s not good. It could lead to conflict. And conflict could lead to all sorts of other nasty things.
Not that I’m averse to the odd disagreement or healthy debate about differing points of view. That’s a good thing. What I’m talking about here is the escalation of negativity that can easily spin out of control. Often it’s the petty little things that are the catalyst. Like the proverbial “I’m mad you left the lid off the toothpaste” kind of thing. And before you know it relationships break down. You get ‘kicked’ so you ‘kick’ the cat or the dog or yell at the kids. Neighbourhood disputes occur. Road rage happens. Communities boil over into rage. Countries go to war….I’m sure you get my drift, even though it may seem a bit of an exaggerated extreme.
Learning to live and cope with change is so important. It’s a life skill we all need.
For me it’s all in how I think about things. Now I know that sounds trite, but it’s true. If I think something is really bad, then that’s how it is – regardless of what others may think. And it keeps on being bad until I decide that it’s not. Here’s an example from my life. As a kid I absolutely detested onions. Just the thought of eating them made me feel sick. In fact, even after we got married I refused to have them in the house for years. Until one day I discovered that onions are a wonderful flavour enhancer for all kinds of food. AND they’re good for you! It’s like the onion light bulb was switched on in that moment. Now I put them in just about every savoury dish I make. And I love them. However, I do draw the line at what Mum used to do. She juiced raw onion, rubbed it into her hair and scalp, and left it steep overnight. Apparently it stopped your hair from going grey. It didn’t. And it stank !!
What about you? What do you think?
© Raili Tanska
Small changes eventually lead to huge results.