The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
The blonde replies, “Where else in central New York City can I park my Rolls for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”
A grizzled old trucker was eating in a truck stop when three Hell’s Angels’ bikers walked in. The first biker walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie and then took a seat at the counter.
A moment later the second biker walked up to the old man, spat into the old man’s milk and then he too took a seat at the counter.
The third biker walked up to the old man, turned over the old man’s plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.
Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner.
Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, “Humph, that old coot, he was not much of a man, was he?”
The waitress replied, “Not much of a truck driver either, he just backed his big-rig over three motorcycles and drove off.”
The man says, “What’s the problem officer?”
Officer: “You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. I’m afraid I’m going to have to ticket you.”
Man: “No sir, I was going a little over 60.”
Wife: “Oh, Harry. You were going at least 80!” (The man gives wife dirty look.)
Officer: “I’m also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.”
Man: “Broken tail light? I didn’t know about a broken tail light!”
Wife: “Oh Harry, you’ve known about that tail light for weeks!” (The man gives his wife another a dirty look.)
Officer: “I’m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.”
Man: “Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.”
Wife: “Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt!”
The Man turns to his wife and yells, “For cryin’ out loud, can’t you just shut up?!”
The officer turns to the woman and asks, “Ma’am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?”
And so the wife says, “No officer, only when he’s drunk.”