You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone?
That’s common sense leaving your body.
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”.
I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment.
Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
I don’t have grey hair, I have wisdom highlights. I’m just very wise
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.
I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month.
I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car.
The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. And I don’t have acne.
♥ Wishing you a weekend full of love, laughter and happiness ♥