Saturday Smiles – bits and bobs

Mrs. Papas comes to visit her son George for dinner.
He lives with a female roommate, Maria.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty George’s roommate is.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between George and his roommate than meet the eye.
Reading his mom’s thoughts, George volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.”
About a week later, Maria came to George saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”
“Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure.” So he sat down and wrote an email:
Dear Mama,
I’m not saying that you “did” take the sugar bowl from my house; I’m not saying that you “did not” take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Your Loving Son,
George
A few days later, George received a response email from his Mama which read:
Dear son,
I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Maria, and I’m not saying that you “do not” sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Your Loving Mama

Moral:
Never Bulla Shita you Mama with Malakies.

And here’s the irreverent  George Carlin

(*language warning*)

George Carlin quotes –

“Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.”

“Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”

“I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven’t tried that for a while. Maybe this time it’ll work.”

“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.”

“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.”

“Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.”

“People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.”

Raili Tanska

Steps for Peace

have a peace-filled, smiley weekend

 

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10 thoughts on “Saturday Smiles – bits and bobs

  1. I haven’t listened to George for awhile. I really loved this quote: “Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.” Gonna use that next time someone asks me about the weather! BUT Jeanne Robertson still makes me laugh more! 😀

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