Saturday Smiles – of fish – soulgifts

A woman goes into Discount Fishing Suppies to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday. She doesn’t know which one to get so she picks one and goes over to the counter. The salesman is standing there, wearing daark shades.

She says – Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?

He says – Madam, I’m completely blind, but if you’ll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes.

She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

He says – That’s a six foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebo 404 reel and a 10lb teost line. It’s a good all round combination and it’s atually on sale this week for $44.

She says – That’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I’ll take it.

As she opens her purse, her credit card drops to the floor.

He says – Oh, that sounds like a Visa card.

As the lady bends down to pick up the card she accidentally farts. At first she’s really embarrassed but then realises there is no way the blind salesman would be able to tell exactly who farted.

The man rings up the sale and says – That’ll be $58.50, please.

The woman is totally confused by this and asks – Didn’t you tell me it was on sale for $44? How did you get $58.50?
The Duck Caller is $11 and the Fish Bait is $3.50.

Two blondes rented a fishing boat, and were having a great day catching fish. The first blonde said “This is such a great spot, we need to mark it so we can come back.” The second blonde proceeded to put a mark on the side of the boat. The first blonde asked “What are you doing?” The second blonde replied “Marking the spot.” “Don’t be stupid” the first blonde said. “What if we don’t get the same boat next time?”

Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms. Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask ” how did you catch those ?” Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon A great days fishing! So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try. They get to the bridge and Sean calls to his friend “hold my legs now Paddy”. Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries.. “pull me up, pull me up!!” Paddy asks ” do you have a fish Sean?”………… No replies Sean, “there’s a bloody train coming!!!!!!!!”

Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: “double my I.Q” so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting shakespeare. Then the second fisherman said: “triple my I.Q.” and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn’t know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said “Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!” the fisherman said “yes” so the mermaid turned him into a woman.

Raili Tanska