God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.
Lecture Tour with A Difference
On New Year’s Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. ‘What are you doing out here at four o’clock in the morning?’ asked the police officer.
‘I’m on my way to a lecture,’ answered Roger.
‘And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year’s Eve?’ enquired the constable sarcastically.
‘My wife,’ slurred Daniel grimly.
Truck Driver Takes A Shower While Driving
A Chinese trucker has been fined for having a shower while driving his lorry on a motorway. Shortly after the Chinese New Year a police patrol car spotted water leaking from the driver’s cab as it sped along the Jinyi expressway.
‘We worried the driver may not have known about a mechanical problem so we signalled him to pull over at a service station,’ a police spokesman informed Will and Guy.
The police officers were shocked to see the driver was wet through and had been enjoying a shower via a sprinkler kettle system rigged up above his head. His wife, who was sitting in the passenger seat, had been holding up a sheet of plastic to protect the instruments from the water. She told police officers there were rushing to deliver goods in another city and she had rigged up the shower to keep her husband cool after the air-conditioning system broke down.
Police fined the lorry driver and warned him he would be in serious trouble if he tried to have a shower at the wheel again.