Talking to Air

Me: Oooh, that cool, fresh breeze is soooo nice, especially after the hot weather!

Air: Thank you! I’m so glad you like it.

Me (more than a little startled) : Huh? Whose that?

Air: Why, me – air, of course! You just said how much you appreciate me.

Me: Huh? You TALK ?

Air: Hell yeah! If only people would stop and listen. I’m so tired of not being heard, know what I mean?

Me: Well, yeah, matter of fact I do. It’s a real bummer when you want to talk and no-one’s listening.

Air: You got it in one. I’ve got so much I want to say. Important stuff too, not just small talk.

Me: I can imagine. I mean, where would we be without air? Six foot under, that’s where.

Air: Exactly! If you don’t breathe, you don’t live. And you know what else really irks me? I get taken for granted. Yup. People walk all over me. Well… you know what I mean.

Me: Now that you mention it, I do. Never really thought about it before. It’s awfully disrespectful. I feel terrible now. But I gotta say, it’s kinda hard when you’re – well, invisible.

Air: If that’s a half-hearted apology, I’ll accept it. It’s better than nothing.

Me: Oh dear, I didn’t mean to be rude. It’s a whole new experience for me. Very surreal in fact. The whole talking to air thing I mean, you being invisible and all.

Air: Alright already with the invisible stuff. You can feel me, can’t you? I feel so lonely. And – *sniff* – dirty! The trees understand. At least they help with the cleaning.

Me: OMG! You’re right again. We really are mean to you. I wish I could give you a hug. Please don’t be sad. I promise I won’t ignore you any more. And I promise I’ll be more respectful and caring of you in future.

Air: Thank you. A little bit of love helps a lot.

We parted on friendly terms, the air and I.

Postscript –

I want to thank Cathi from overthehillontheyellowbrickroad for inspiring this post. She and I recently discovered each other.

In her words, she has chatted with a graying dandelion, a raisin whose heart is breaking as she lets go of her grape kids, and an older tree feeling much more fragile than she used to. Even the Tooth Fairy is considering a second career as an Implant Fairy.

Do go over and pay her a visit. I guarantee you will not regret it! Be prepared to laugh, chortle, hoot, be amazed, delighted, bumfuzzled…