♦ Man who wants pretty nurse must be patient.
♦ Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
♦ Lady who goes camping with man must beware of evil intent.
♦ Squirrel who runs up woman’s leg will not find nuts.
♦ Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.
♦ Man who runs in front of car gets tired, but man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
♦ Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.
♦ War does not determine who is right; it determines who is left.
♦ Man who fights with wife all day get no piece at night.
♦ It takes many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it.
♦ Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.
♦ Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
♦ Wise man does not keep sledge hammer and slow computer in same room.
♦ Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
And, Confucius Really Did Not Say…
♦ “A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!”

The Royal Navy is now assigning females to quarters in a separate private “OFF LIMITS” area on all battleships and aircraft carriers and submarines. Addressing all boat personnel at Plymouth, a senior Admiral advised:
“Female sleeping quarters will be “out-of-bounds” for all males. Anyone caught breaking this rule will be fined £50 the first time”. He continued: “Anyone caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined £150. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of £500. Are there any questions?”
At this point, a boot-neck from 45 Commando (Royal Marines) stood up in the crowd and inquired..
“Sir, how much for a season ticket ?”
😀 Have an awesomely smiley weekend 😀
Steps for Peace
Never give up because great things take time. curiano.com
Hilarious. Made even The Man smile.
WOW !!! I’m honoured 🙂
Loved the Sledge hammer, slow computer analogy. These were great, thank you.
Glad you enjoyed them !
😀😀😀😀😀
Loved the one about the pot! LOL
🙂
🙋♂️ I can actually attest to the camping one 😲
Lol!!
Good ones Raili, enjoyed them.
🙂
Love these! 😃
Great !
Reblogged this on Opher's World and commented:
Superb as usual.
Opher, so very kind of you !
Confucius he say that man who cooks potatoes and pees in same pot very unhygienic.
Ahahaa, so vewy twue 🙂