Saturday Smiles

Another Saturday – sunny but cold here.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend wherever you are

and whatever you are doing.

Proud to be “AN AUSSIE”

Bill English, the Prime Minister of New Zulland, is awoken at 4am by the telephone.

Bill, it’s the Hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergincy !! I’ve jist received word thet the Durex factory en Aucklind hes burned to the ground. It is istimated that the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week.”

PM: “Shut !! The economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. W’e will be ruined.”

Hilth Munister: “We’re going to haf to shup some in from Brutain ?”

PM: “No chence. The Poms will have a field day on thus one.”

Hilth Munister: “What about Australia ?”

PM: “I’ll call the Aussies. Tell them we need one million condoms, ten enches long and four enches thuck. That way they’ll continue to respect the ‘All Blacks’.”

Three days later, a delighted John rushes out to open the boxes that arrived at the Pist Office.
He finds one million condoms – 10 enches long, 4 enches thuck, all coloured green and gold with small writing on each one.


Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie Oi Oi Oi.


Raili Tanska

Steps for Peace

Smile and the world smiles with you. 

7 thoughts on “Saturday Smiles

  1. Lol..reminds of the time a mate of mine went into the Chemist and asked for condoms. The girl behind the counter asked if he wanted large or small. He said puffing out his chest: “Large”. She gave him a packet with fifty in it.

    I saw this joke earlier:

    I was at Pets at Home buying a bag of dog food While at the checkout a woman behind me asked what sort of dog have I got? So on impulse I told her that I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Dog Food Diet again, and that I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital last time after losing 2 stone and ended up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with handfuls of dry food and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again she said why if it made you so Unwell the first time ? I said it didn’t I ran in the road to sniff a spaniels arse and got hit by a car 😂😂😂😂

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