Saturday Smiles

harl;ey davidson

An inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.

At the pearly gates, St. Peter told Arthur, “Since you’ve been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.”

Arthur thought about this for a minute and then said, “I want to hang out with God.” St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, “Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?”

Arthur said, “Yep, that’s me.”

God said, “Well, what’s the big deal in inventing something that’s pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can’t run without a road?”

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, “Excuse me, but aren’t you the inventor of the woman?”

 God said, “Yes.”

“Well,” said Arthur, “professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention too:

  1. There’s too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions;
    2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
    3. Most of the rear ends are too soft, and wobble too much;
    4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
    5. And the maintenance costs are enormous!”

“Hmmmmm, you have some good points there,” replied God, “hold on.”

God went to His Celestial supercomputer, typed in some key words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

“Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,” God said to Arthur, “but according to these statistics, more men are riding my invention than yours.”

Red Hat - I am awesome

A little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answered the door. She proclaimed, “I want to join your biker club.” The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed to join. So the biker asked her, “You have a bike?” The little old lady said, “Yea, that’s my Harley over there,” and points to a Harley parked in the driveway. The biker asked her, “Do you smoke?” The little old lady said “Yea, I smoke. I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I’m shooting pool.” The biker is impressed and asked, “Well, have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?” The little old lady said, “No, I’ve never been picked up by the fuzz, but I’ve been swung around by my nipples a few times.”

biker

A Biker came along a Nun on the side of the road with a flat tire. He stopped his Harley and asked if the Nun needed any help. The Nun not being mechanically inclined, accepted his help. The Biker jacked up the car, but when he got the tire off the ground the jack slipped and the car dropped. “SHIT!!!” shouted the biker. “No…” replied the Nun, “say Bless Me Father”.

Grumbling under his breath the biker jacked the car up again, and again the jack slipped. “SHIT!!!” roared the biker. The Nun determined to save his soul kindly reminded him to say, “Bless Me Father”. Mumbling , and grumbling the Biker returned to the task at hand, but again the jack slipped dropping the car with a crash. His jaws locked, and his face red with anger, the Biker slowly muttered the words, “Bless Me Father”.

With that the car slowly raised off the ground. The Nun, seeing this miracle turned white as a ghost, and in a quivering voice said “SHIT!!!

Raili Tanska

Steps for Peace

A good laugh heals a lot of hurts. — Madeleine L’Engle
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30 thoughts on “Saturday Smiles

      1. I meant German – and I was thinking of sewing machines – Pfaff and Frister & Rossmann.
        You’ll have to excuse me – I’m confused and in shock. Seriously. I was responding to comments to try and get myself on track. I’ll email you.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Hmm, let’s see lol…. how about more than a smidgen of creativity, a well developed ( and sometimes off colour) senses of humour, oh and a pre-PCS (and hopefully post ) ability to articulate? Does that work lol?

        Liked by 1 person

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