Chinese in Australia
After living in Shanghai for 50 years a Chinese man decides to move to Australia.
He buys a small piece of land near Mt Isa.
A few days after moving in, the friendly Aussie neighbour decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region.
He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens.
Not wanting to interrupt any Chinese custom, he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.
The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese man urinate into a glass and then drink it.
Not wanting to interrupt another Chinese custom, he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.
A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese man leading a bull down the drive-way, pause, and then put an ear next to the bull’s bum.
The Aussie bloke can’t handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says, ‘Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs ? I come over to welcome you to the neighbourhood, and see you running
around the yard after hens.. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull’s arse, it could just about shit on you.’
The Chinese man is very taken back and says, ‘ Sorry sir, you no understand.. These no Chinese customs I doing, these Australian Customs.”
What d’ya mean mate’ says the Aussie, ‘Those aren’t Australian customs……………..
‘Yes they are’, replied the Chinese man, ‘travel agent man say to become true blue Australian, I must learn
chase chicks, drink piss, and listen to bull shit.’
(Translation for those who may need it – chicks = girls; piss = booze = alcohol; bull shit = well, a lot of guff, fibs, tall tales, non-truths, stretched truths)
Why do kangaroos hate rainy days? Because their children play inside.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato!
What kind of music do kangaroos listen to? Hip Hop
To reach peace, teach peace — Pope John Paul II