Funny Stuff

Christmassy stuff – ‘cos it’s Advent! 

christmas-carolers

That kid is in the manger again playing his drum WHERE ARE THE PARENTS???

– Dave Barry ‏@rayadverb

When a father asked his little boy what he wanted for Christmas,

the boy replied, “A baby sister.”

As it turned out, the wife was pregnant, and delivered on Christmas Eve. On Christmas day she brought home a brand new baby sister for their son.

The next year, when the father asked his little boy what he wanted for Christmas, the boy said, “If it wouldn’t make mommy too uncomfortable, I’d like a pony.”

My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately,

which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.
– Dave Barry

The Sunday school kids had been rehearsing their Christmas play for weeks. Finally they were ready for the big Christmas Eve show.

The church was filled, and the play was going perfectly, right up to the scene where the innkeeper tells Joseph and Mary there is no room.

Suddenly Mary turned to Joseph and said, “I TOLD you to make reservations!”

The person who first threw a gift in a pretty shopping bag and threw some crumpled tissue paper on top should have gotten a Nobel prize.
– Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder

EATING IN THE FIFTIES and SIXTIES

Pasta was not eaten in Australia or N.Z.
Curry was a surname.
A takeaway was a mathematical problem.
A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.
All potato crisps were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the salt on or not.
Rice was only eaten as a milk pudding.
Calamari was called squid and we used it as fish bait.
A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.
Brown bread was something only poor people ate.
Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking.
Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.
Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold. Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.
Fish didn’t have fingers in those days.
Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi.
None of us had ever heard of yoghurt.
Healthy food consisted of anything edible.
People who didn’t peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.
Indian restaurants were only found in India.

Cooking outside was called camping.
Seaweed was not a recognised food.
“Kebab” was not even a word, never mind a food.
Prunes were medicinal.
Surprisingly, muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.
Water came out of the tap.
If someone had suggested bottling it and charging more than petrol for it, they would have become a laughing stock!!
But the one thing that we never ever had on our table in the sixties ….. Elbows or Phones.

Raili Tanska – have an awesome weekend!

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