The King and Queen of the Termitoidae realm have invaded our home. Yep, not with so much as an excuse me, they had silently moved in. We discovered this only last night. There was a swarm of termitoidae citizens flying around in ever increasing numbers underneath our dining room light. They seemed to magically appear out of nowhere. One minute there were none, the next minute there were hordes manifesting out of some vast unseen, other dimensional realm. Obviously they felt well established enough not to be worried about being visible.
TRH (The Retired Husband) grabbed a vacuum cleaner. I armed myself with a can of odourless gas. The vacuum cleaner sucked those little house munchers out of the air. Others were felled with poison and plummeted to the floor kamikaze style. We checked all the doors and windows to see if the invading hordes were hovering outside, sending in troops to reconnoitre the lie of the land. Nope. House was shut tight as a drum.
TRH, being the spy he is, snooped around some. He found the invasion site. The sneaky termitoidae had tunneled up under the paint work of our laundry door jamb. Even though it was late, he contacted a Counter-offensive Expert and arranged for a field reconnaissance today. First thing this morning, he (TRH) cleverly snuck up on those little house munching invaders and uncovered their dastardly plot. Many bodies later, that enemy front was conquered.
Unfortunately, the Counter-offensive Expert was not pleased when he arrived for his inspection tour. Apparently it would have been better to leave them alone. Complacent and unsuspecting in their tunnel , he would have organised a scouting patrol to ascertain the best plan of attack. We had blown the whistle and alerted the enemy. They have gone into hiding. However, a quick surveillance has revealed several other sites of infiltration. Tomorrow a second opinion will give us enough information to decide on the battle plan.
In the meantime I’m going to do some research to get inside the head of our enemy hordes. If they stayed where they belong, we would all be happier !
© Raili Tanska