While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Donald Trump and his role as the Republican Nominee for President. The old farmer said, ” Well, as I see it, Donald Trump is like a ‘Post Tortoise’.” Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a ‘post tortoise’ was. The old farmer said, “When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a tortoise balanced on top, that’s a post tortoise.” The old farmer saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face so he continued to explain. “You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he’s up there, he’s elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there to begin with.”
Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:
The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.
Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
Dogs like it if you leave lots of things on the floor.’
Dogs parents never visit.
Dogs agree you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
You never have to wait for a dog, they’re ready to go instantly 24 hours a day
Dogs won’t wake you in the middle of the night to ask ‘Would you get another dog if I died?’
If your dog has babies you can put an ad in the paper and sell ’em.
If you drop a silent one dogs don’t run around frantically to spray the room.
Dogs don’t mind if you scratch your balls. Instead they wonder why you don’t lick ’em.
Dogs will let you put a studded collar on them without calling you a pervert.
If a dog runs off and leaves you it won’t take half your stuff.
4 worms in Church
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol . . . . . .. Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke . . Dead!
Third worm in chocolate syrup . . . Dead!.
Fourth worm in good clean soil . .
So the Minister asked the congregation,
“So, my friends? What did you learn from this demonstration?”
Maxine, sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said . . .
“As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!”
That pretty much ended the service!
And last of all, an Aussie skit.
Have an awesome weekend !!
One more sleep and we’re off road tripping !