God’s plan for aging:
Most seniors never get enough exercise.
In His wisdom God decreed
that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their
glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking.
And God looked down and saw that it was good.
🙂
Then God saw there was another need.
In His wisdom He made
seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to
bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
😀
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors
would have additional calls of nature
requiring more trips to the bathroom,
thus providing more exercise.
And God looked down and saw that it was good.
😛
So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more,
remember it is God’s will.
It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under
your breath
🙄
Now, Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older …
#9 – Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 – Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 – Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky-panky, and they can’t
tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 – Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person
to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months,
maybe years….
#4 – Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital,
dying of nothing.
#3 – All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.
#2 – In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 – Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be
a burning issue tomorrow.
Don’t ignore this message … This is your only warning!
😉
IRISH DIET
An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
‘I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day,then eat regularly
again for 2 days then skip a day …… And repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.
The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.’
When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 lbs!
‘Why, that’s amazing!’ the doctor said, ‘Did you follow my instructions?’
The Irishman nodded …
‘I’ll tell you though, be jaesuz, I t’aut I were going to drop dead on dat ‘tird day.’
‘From the hunger, you mean?’ asked the doctor.
‘No, from the feckin’ skippin’
Raili Tanska
Images Pixabay
I love the Irish joke Raili…..very funny….
🙂
Funny.
😀
Fabulous, great way to start the day ! Have a great weekend
You too Brooke – and thanks for the coffee 🙂
❤
Not sure about the god one – not really my scene – but I laughed anyway!
I thought of you when I posted it, Opher !! Glad you got a giggle anyway 🙂
These were all good, Raili. I think my favorite part was #7 in the list, although the Irish joke was a close second.
I’m always partial to a bit of the Irish meself 🙂
I loved the 9 rules to remember – esp # 6 and #5 😀
Me too !
😀
I REALLY needed that to go to bed on!!! It’s been one of those weeks. I read the Irish diet one to Drollery and couldn’t even get the punch line out I was double over laughing so hard. LMBO!
So happy to oblige 🙂
These are brilliant. God knows best indeed 🙂
🙂
I am laughing my head off at #4 and 2!!!!!!
I do get some pearlers sent to me 🙂
Those really made me laugh and I needed it so thank you!
My pleasure entirely ma’am *curtsey*