soulgifts – Telling Tales

 

God’s plan for aging:

Most seniors never get enough exercise.

In His wisdom God decreed

that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their

glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking.

And God looked down and saw that it was good.

🙂

Then God saw there was another need.

In His wisdom He made

seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to

bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

😀

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors

would have additional calls of nature

requiring more trips to the bathroom,

thus providing more exercise.

And God looked down and saw that it was good.

😛

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more,

remember it is God’s will.

It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under

your breath

🙄

Now, Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older …

#9 – Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8 – Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6 – Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky-panky, and they can’t

       tell them apart.  If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 – Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person

       to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months,

       maybe years….

#4 – Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital,

       dying of nothing.

#3 – All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention

       to criticism.

#2 – In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird.  Now the

       world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 – Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers.  What you do today may be

       a burning issue tomorrow.

Don’t ignore this message … This is your only warning!

😉

IRISH DIET

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on     a diet.

‘I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day,then eat regularly
again for 2 days then skip a day …… And repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.
The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.’

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60     lbs!

‘Why, that’s amazing!’ the doctor said, ‘Did you follow my instructions?’

The Irishman nodded …
‘I’ll tell you though, be jaesuz, I t’aut I were going to drop dead on dat ‘tird day.’
‘From the hunger, you mean?’ asked the doctor.
‘No, from the feckin’ skippin’

   

Raili Tanska

Images Pixabay