Double Celebration – husband and cars

Markku - birthday

It’s a delicate subject. Age. The Retired Husband (TRH) is celebrating another ageing milestone today. I stepped on his delicate toes last night when I called him “The Old Man”.  Mind you, I only did so after he  himself shared The Man Song on Facebook.

Apparently he is the only one who can make jokes at his own expense! I will, however, continue to gently orientate him to reality. It is my duty as his wife. After all, I took a vow to “love, honour and….  in sickness and in health until death do us part.”

Celebrations have been building up to a crescendo for the last couple of months or more. I am not sure whether he deployed a purposeful strategy or not, but yesterday we took delivery of The New Car. Well timed. We had agreed that having two cars now that we’re retired, is just silly. TRH has his motorbike so if he needs to zip off somewhere and I am using the car he can two wheel it. Easy. The current cars would be traded in as part of the purchase negotiations. Well. That plan was shot out the window. Our boys decided they wanted to buy our cars. At trade in prices. Just because. At present our driveway looks suspiciously like a used car lot whilst the boys are negotiating sales of their cars. And Marc is already planning even further ahead. When we are ready to downsize to something smaller than a monster truck, he will buy The New Car.

The research, agonising and leg work that has gone into this purchase has been impressive. By TRH of course. Internet searches. Probably dozens of trips to car yards. Collection of brochures. More trips to car yards. Several test drives of various makes and models. Many, many, many discussions with me. Not so many with the boys. They seem to be of the same mind in matters of ve-hi-cles. I could not begin to list the minutiae of detail that has been gone into. It is alien speak. Whether it is Vulcan, Andromedan or Pleidean I am not sure. Possibly Taurean.

Me? I like pretty colours. Cars that get me from A to B without having to change gears (my current car is a manual). Cars that work when and as they should. Oh, and cars that can zip in and out of tight little spaces. And have big boots for shopping bags. That is pretty much the sum total of my list. Impressively comprehensive I would have thought. But apparently not.

Here is a summary of our many, many discussions –

Colour: I can choose. As it turned out, choice was very limited. Red or blue. I had rather fancied a hot pink. Not an option.

Make and model: I cannot choose. I can express an opinion which may or may not be listened to. I did.  It wasn’t.

Size: not negotiable. It will be monstrously big. It is. I will need driving lessons. And computer lessons. It has one. I just hope it does not need underground cabling to work or we will be in serious trouble!

Size of boot: no boot. But the tray will be so big and so high that I cannot reach to put anything in. As for taking anything out – forget it! I may need a mini trailer to go shopping. Or home delivery.

Mechanically sound: it’s a new car so that is a given. Apparently.

Markku - car

And as you can see for yourself from the photos here, it is BIG.The  left little red car is the one I currently drive. Our dog, as you can see, is the size of a flea next to the monster truck. In reality she is more like the size of a cute little kitty cat.

The birthday celebrations started last night. We went out for dinner with the kids to a local Indian restaurant. It was lovely. Taking our duty of parenting very seriously, we even managed to suitably embarrass the children publicly.

This morning, TRH had the pleasure of being taken to breakfast by ‘his three girls’. But not before he had to negotiate a way out of our court. You see the road is being chopped up today for installation of underground sewage etc for the new build three houses down. All our neighbours had thoughtfully moved their cars down the road. Ours was still in the driveway. So off trotted TRH to speak to the road worker dude. He was gone a long time. I was convinced we would have to stay home when I saw the pair of them heading into our driveway deeply engaged in conversation. How wrong was I ! The road worker dude was being given a personal guided tour of The New Car. I could hear his admiring ooh’s and aah’s through the closed window. His gentle fondling of the exterior. The opening and closing of doors. The admiration of the new car smell. It was not until the comment about the ‘gently bulging curvature of the bonnet’ that I opened the window to  delicately inquire  “And just what the hell does that mean?” TRH smiled and said, Don’t worry. She’s a woman. She doesn’t understand. The road worker dude nodded and mumbled, Yeah, I wasn’t going to say that! (Sorry about the fuzzy photo – it was raining…)

sewerage install 3

I was afterwards informed that the gently bulging curvature of the bonnet has nothing to do with the primary male brain being located in the groin. It is all about the beauty of the car. Seriously?! Anyway, the upshot of this mutual male admiration society of ve-hi-cles is that the road worker dude moved his bulldozer. And SWEPT !! the road so The New Car would not get dirty. How sweet.

And tonight, we will go out to dinner – again. A food and ve-hi-cle themed birthday this year!

 

© Raili Tanska

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29 thoughts on “Double Celebration – husband and cars

  1. Wow, that’s a massive car! Congratulations! Like you I love small and easy to drive cars (because I cannot park:-) but I don’t always have a say in the matter. But I think, TRH deserves that truck. Isn’t it why we work so hard; to enjoy retirement? All the best for his birthday.

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    1. You’re right of course, Khaya. And he still needs a pick up truck to complete our house renovations 🙂 My driving lessons start tomorrow …. my little car is now officially sold as son #2 sold his today !

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  2. I’m with you. This is just too big… I adore small city cars that seat two and can be parked vertically where other cars park horizontally. Also, obviously, I can’t park horizontally. Such a fun post and photos -) !

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Mara. I loved writing it. My dream car has been one that’s advertised here as a Mum 500. Now of course there is the Smart car too. Enough to fit 2 plus shopping. Parking? Vertical parking in a horizontal space …. oh the dreams…..

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  3. ‘The gently bulging curvature of the bonnet…’ This post is hysterical – you’ve really made my day. I can’t believe you’re so tolerant of the way TRH ogles this scarlet man eater – still, you may not have to worry about it for long – perhaps she’ll run off with the road worker, and you can get a car that’s more to your taste! 😀 😀 😀
    Oh, and I loved Spiriual Dragonfly’s slip up – very funny – I have a soft spot for a good typo…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jane, it’s a man club thing that I’ve grown used to. I have been the sole oestrogen balancer until very recently (unless little dogs count – even after desexing ?!) As for typos – Freudian slips perhaps ? I’ve created my fair share of them too ….Glad I contributed to your enjoyment of the day !

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      1. I was married to a car fanatic, so I understand – except that he used to open the bonnet and gaze lovingly at the engine. It was great – each time he changed his car, he would get it’s organs running like a dream and I would give it a custom interior – buttoned seats covers, re-covered door liners, jazzed up dashboards, the lot. 🙂

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      2. I’m yet to get in the driver’s seat. I was amazed the two oohing and aahing didn’t open the bonnet. That’s what usually happens. The size of this one is a bit daunting.

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  4. Your car is gorgeous and hot red too 😉 I drove small cars until I got married to a husband who only buys trucks and I actually grew to love them except the parking aspect. Happy birthday to TRH. Many more wonderful years 🙂

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    1. So there’s hope for me yet! Thanks Jacquie. Parking is my challenge to overcome. Lesson one starts today. As in learning to turn it on, reverse out of the driveway without taking the fence with me. Oh, and driving…

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