NOOOOOOO !!!!!! He’s gone and done it, hasn’t he?! How COULD he do this to me !! He did it on purpose!
Ok…. I’ve got a hold of myself now. I guess you may have a few questions rolling around in your head:
Who dunnit ?
The Retired Husband (TRH)
Done what ?
Gave me a three word prompt.
Why did he dunnit?
‘Cos he knew I would have to write about it.
So, what’s wrong with that ?
Nothing. No, that’s not right. Everything – the three words.
And just what are they ?
Husband! Likes! Trump!!!
Is that so bad ?
You gotta be kidding me ?! It’s all kinds of bad……
Now I have to actually find an angle I can manage to write about it without losing all my self respect and dignity.
And hopefully retain my readers’ respect and following.
I could start with hair. There is – or rather was – a somewhat startling similarity: The Comb Over. Perhaps that is what has sparked this disturbing likingness for, you know who… now I’m finding a disturbing parallel in myself to Harry Potter’s world and He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named (HWCBN). Albeit in this instance it is the one in the photos below. However, in defence of TRH whom I love dearly, his Comb Over never looked like yellow fairy floss. Nor was it elaborately combed in four different directions. Admittedly, it was hair sprayed into place as the wind had a disturbing habit of lifting it up. Much like HWCBN.
Now, let me present you with TRH’s timeline evidence for whence the likingness was spawned.
It is, I believe, so firmly embedded in his cellular memory that he simply could do nothing to avoid it.
On our wedding day 43 years ago. Note the thinning patch on the top.
First, I must apologise for the poor quality of the following old photos. Unlike HWCBN, this one wears a hat on his head in just about every photo I could find, thus hiding the evidence. I know I can perform miracles, but taking hats off in photographs to unearth what lies beneath is beyond my skills. However, it is good enough to show a steady and definite thinning of hirsuteness on top. I’ll keep the photos small.
A few years later taken at a slightly different angle.
Also taken before the full emergence of The Comb Over.
Aha – there it is! Already glued down.
This is a far more civilised, recent one.
From the mid 1990’s onward The Comb Over has ceased to exist. I am forever indebted to my nephew for its extinction. At the time he was living next door to us. One balmy summer’s night said nephew and his friend invited TRH over for a boy’s night in. Wisely, I went to bed. After all, I lack the gender specific accoutrements. And, I knew that it would be a long night of male bonding round the beer bottle kind of night.
I woke in the wee small hours of the night – around 3am if I recall correctly – to the sound of the front door opening. This was followed in quick succession by the sound of two giggling young men quietly loud saying Shhh!!! You’ll wake her up, as they tiptoed over the creaking floorboards towards my bedroom. They tiptoed into the bedroom. My nephew shouted a whispered Are you awake? Was he serious ?! This was followed by Raili, you have to come over and see Mark NOW! With that, they dashed out, giggling like little school kids with the by now thoroughly awake poodle excitedly yipping at their heels.
Needless to say, my curiosity got the better of me. Throwing on my dressing gown, I wandered over. My husband was sitting, arms crossed, in a dining room chair fast asleep. He was COMPLETELY BALD!! His head that is, not any other body part. I must say I was secretly delighted with the improvement. However, given that I was the sensible adult of the moment, I instructed my nephew to take a seat. Grabbing the shaving cream and a razor, I wordlessly shaved his head to match that of TRH. After all, there had to be some consequences. He didn’t protest. Then I bid them all good night and went back home to bed with a big smile on my face.
The Comb Over lies buried in a long forgotten grave. Till now. I pray to God he does not try to resurrect it out of some misguided sense of bro-love. However, there is the comfort of a genetic pool predisposition to bald pates on his side of the family. Therefore the return of The Comb Over is doomed !!!
And that, my dear readers, is as far as I can go with this prompt.
Images from personal albums and Facebook
I add this link in case any of you wish to further investigate HWCBN Comb Overs.
And just in case you have a burning desire to listen to a summary of HWCBN famous lines. Although why you would want to listen to it is beyond me.