Gosh. Um, gee … (shuffling feet, looking a bit embarrassed). I’m feeling a tad overwhelmed. Studiotj has nominated me for the Dedicated Blogger Award. Given that I have graciously accepted this kind nomination – thank you, tj (HUGE smile)- he has asked nominees to write an acceptance speech in return. I gotta warn you though, I have a tendency of putting my own spin on the way I follow through.
I’m a little worried about making the acceptance speech. You see, I’m not good at climbing stairs. There is a disturbing tendency to fall down them. The worst and most embarrassing time was when I fell down the stair thingy disembarking from an aeroplane. I ended up in a twisted, mangled mess on the tarmac to find a circle of concerned faces peering down at me. Seriously! To add insult to embarrassment, I was then whisked into the terminal in one of those airport golf buggy things into the arms of my waiting family. But, it did not end there. Oh no! After due diligence of filling out mandated safety protocol Incident Reports, I was wheelchaired to the front of the terminal whilst my other half hoofed it to get the car. The children stayed to escort me through the teeming crowd to the front with the kind airport Incident Manager Person. So perhaps you can understand my fear of stairs in public places (shudder – throwback PTSD related mind image emerges…)
But I digress. (Collect self and re-focus…) I hope the e-stairs to the stage are not rickety or too steep. Being in the spotlight scares me too. Public speaking means I will be the Centre of Attention. (Gulp…) I am shy, get embarrassed easily and blush. And that just makes me even more embarrassed. SO therein lies my dilemma. How will I cope with this whole e-stage scenario? Well, I put myself into it so I guess I’ll find out.
Quite some time later – a lot of quite some time later – I’ve written the speech and practised it. This is about as ready as I will ever be. Gotta say though, I’m feeling nervous. Butterflies in the tummy are having a field day. My palms are sweaty. My mouth is dry. I guess no-one will know that as it’s on an e-stage, so here goes ….
THE Acceptance Speech –
Walk elegantly up stairs onto stage wearing killer red e-stilettos (‘cos I can, that’s why! Phew – made it without tripping or falling down the stairs!)
Wait while microscope – oops, Freudian slip – microphone is adjusted to the level of my mouth. (Avoid urge to blow in it and say “testing, testing…”) Take a sip of water to calm the nerves. Brandy would be better but that is not provided.
Blinded by the spotlight. Good. Can’t see the audience. Less nerve wracking.
(Clear throat… several times….)
Tj, fellow bloggers, followers, readers, WordPress Happiness Engineers, family and friends (Panic- have I left out anyone important?!)
Gee, it’s such a thrill! Can you imagine – I’m up here on the virtual stage giving my first ever e-speech. It’s kinda surreal if I may say so. I mean this whole blogging award stuff and all. I don’t mean that in a mean way (ooh, I SO wasn’t going to say that! Clear throat, shuffle feet… ) I mean (ooooh, maybe it was brandy after all – @#%$!!!) – you know, it’s a bit, um, controversial and all. People have so many different opinions about them, you know what I’m saying? Anyway, I’m not going to get into that. I’ve gone and accepted it so that’s that. Done deal.
(Pregnant pause as I move from foot to foot trying to get comfortable. My feet are killing me! I shoulda worn something more sensible. What the heck was I thinking! Clearly I wasn’t. I can’t think straight. My feet hurt too much. And now my back is getting sore – %*&@#$*!!)
Ummm…. Something urgent’s just come up. Sorry! I just want to say – thanks a bunch!
Run off stage. Trip on the killer e-stilettos. Fall down stairs.
Boy, do I feel all kinds of a fool! I made such an idiot of myself. None of that went to plan. I don’t know why I even bothered to write the speech. None of it came out of my mouth. And as for those killer e-stilettos – oooh, I do so like them! But I should never have worn them. I know what I’m like on stairs in flats let alone anything higher! And another thing, stairs are OUT of my life FOREVER! I am so never going to do this virtual stage e-speech thing ever again….I think I’ll just slink off to a corner now to lick my wounds and hang my head in shame. Sighhh… (hunched shoulders, single tear falling down cheek)
I chose six bloggers to nominate for the Dedicated Blogger Award. Why six? It seemed like a good number. Then I googled it, just to make sure it was. Here’s what I found. “The most important influence of the 6 is its loving and caring nature. Properly nicknamed the motherhood number, it is all about sacrificing, caring, healing, protecting and teaching others.” How cool is that! (Smiling!)
There is no onus on anyone to accept the award or its accompanying challenge (Biiiig Grin …) I promise, I won’t be upset! Equally, what you choose to do once you accept it – if you do – is entirely in your hands. I know some blogs choose to be Award Free. I still choose to nominate as this is my way of saying I like your stuff! And of letting my readers know that I do. It’s sort of like a Recommendation or a Big Hint to go and have a look. Some of them might just pop in and see what you’re about.
(Challenge Warning – once read, the challenge will self-destruct in 30 seconds. MWAHAHAAA !!! Just kidding …really. Blame my newly acquired taste for reading HORROR STORIES!)
Having got that out of the way, here are my six –
You seem to be have a never-ending supply of support, encouragement and motivation for all comers. Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to dance and sing and enjoy as you listen to this handpicked selection. Should you choose to invite your wife to join you that would be awesome.
A new acquaintance with whom I share a love of books and coffee. Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to try that salt and cardamon laced coffee I told you about. Then let us know what you think about it.
Your wit, ready humour and positive outlook are as inspired as your Dude Food ranch balls. Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to share another equally awesome Dude Food recipe – when you feel inspired or are in dire need to create nibbles to munch on with your mates.
It’s all your fault – you introduced me to horror stories and prompts! I have learnt to tolerate horror. Well, at least some of it. And I love writing to prompts! Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to write a flash fiction NON horror story to this prompt – Ghouls, Ghosts and Graveyards. If you want to add an extra edge limit it to 50 words!
The sharing of your knowledge and experience in the metaphysical arena deserves a wider audience. I promised I would return to read your blog when I was less time poor, and I will. Your challenge, should you choose to accept it is to take some time for yourself and listen to this webcast . I think you will like it.
I love the wit and humour of your ‘What I hated least about today’ posts – I hope you never, ever, ever stop writing funny stuff! And as for those gorgeous stick figures ! Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to post another one of your stick figure drawings.
You provide unwavering support and inspirational Sandbox Challenges so we can dig and scrabble around the dark recesses and corners of our psyches with you. Your challenge, should you decide to accept it, is to pull up a rock, grab a nice cuppa, sit a spell and listen to this selection tailor made just for you as my heartfelt “Thankyou!”
© Raili Tanska
Photograph by Barbara Mattio